The Wellness Circle- Grief Transforms Us
Maachelle Farley is the owner of Wellness Music Creative a company that specialises in piano and voice lessons, music for wellness, corporate workshops and Wellness Circles.
The former student of Queen’s College who has been operating her business for the past 12 years from its headquarters in Plum Grove, Christ Church said she first became aware of grief at the tender age of twelve-years-old when her parents divorced.
“I could not process or understand it as grief because I did not count it as what persons would term as grief. But it was a loss. I have learnt now that Grief and loss come in different forms: the loss of a loved family member, the loss of a loved pet, the loss of a relationship, a business, a job, an opportunity and many others. I continued to experience grief throughout my life, losing my grandparents and grappling with many losses but the main one was the loss of my dad, Matthew Farley. I soon realized that these losses were an opportunity for me to learn more about the grieving process and what grieving holistically might look like for me as a human being. I found that by having a better understanding of how grief ebbs and flows helped me to be more patient with myself and others, this is what first inspired me to create a safe space called “The Wellness Circle” she said.
Farley, who is a graduate of Acadia University where she pursued Music, said grief has transformed her as she misses her dad every day. “I felt deeply that there were others like me who desire that safe space to process grief with a community, musically and creatively”
“The early morning on November 27th when my dad died, I drove home from the hospital with my mother in silence. My body felt numb and cold, and I felt like I was in a terrible dream. When we got home, I opened the front door and sat in the chair he usually wrote and read in, and cried and then screamed out in pain and agony. Some of my neighbours tried to console me but all I wanted to do was scream and cry. I did not want to calm down, I did not want to relax, I wanted to unravel into the absolute despair and anguish I felt. The first time I felt the ‘silencing’ or ‘calm down’ pressure was at my grandmother’s funeral. I am still at a loss as to why we try to shush people when their response is crying or screaming in agony. Why not just let the person cry and scream until the wave has passed? I think this type of consoling is well-intentioned but also cultural. Being in the presence of someone crying and screaming in grief immediately alerts us to help but most times all that is needed is a space to just be in the anguish without the pressure to be quiet or to stop crying or screaming,” she said.
The owner of Wellness Music Creative said she realised she had bottled up her grief as a way of accepting loss and moving on but realised that the healthy way was to embrace the grief in whatever way it presented itself.
“I let my feelings be, I journaled about it, sang about it, wrote about it and recognized that as the years come and go that the loss might be felt and experienced differently but I can carry it and understand it and learn from it. The Wellness Circle is intended to provide this opportunity for anyone to use these same tools and learn from grief in a way that enriches and feeds their life with compassion for others. Maybe long walks with your loved one in mind is what can help you along your journey, quiet teatime, journaling, maybe writing a song about how you feel about your loss, maybe just allowing yourself to cry and scream without judgement or silencing. I found using music and journaling has been guiding me through and I hope to use music to help others through their grief process as well,” she said.
“The Wellness Circle will include music, meditation, poetry and songwriting. As a creative I am always looking for an innovative way to help others and provide spaces for wellness and creativity,” she said.
Farley noted that while she has launched her new service ‘The Wellness Circle’, she is also aware that grief comes in many different forms thus, with the wellness circle persons can learn new ways to process grief by listening to others stories and learning about the different ways that grief can impact our daily lives for the better. (Write Right PR Services)
